The Writings of Sheri Hooper

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Beware of fitness Gyms


★★★★★★★ THANK GOD! ★★★★★★★ I have successfully talked my old man (Rick Hooper), husband of 29 years, out of joining a useless 24 hour, 365 / 7 days a week, “fitness” gym. At first he had me bedazzled and impressed by all the pretty neon purple colors and jazzy lighting. For that alone, this particular place is unbelievably gorgeous and tempting. I will give them that. Unfortunately, it is all I can positively express about this business. Nice Thematic! The End. Not really, though all of a pretty picture I am able to paint for them.

I Googled this place first (there are hundreds across the USA) and they got terrible ratings. One after another. How utterly eye opening, with American Consumers bashing them with massive intensity! We have a WII Fit with all the bells and whistles, and blessed with feet to walk around the neighborhood. Soon our own personal pool and hot tub will be installed. With the equipment we have already acquired, and what is coming, there are no reasons for us to join another gym outside of home.

Personally I think they are somewhat nasty, these gyms you share with others. Why bother? We have been here before, different gyms, same situation. Fortunately, he listened to me this time before our appointment today. Fitness is important, there are no doubts, but this place that shall remain nameless is ridiculous.

We were approached at the door immediately. A plus one would think, as only members have access to the building. As it turns out this is not the only reason those who work there are actually told to approach you, this is part of their job. Shall I just get right down to it? You can be told on and asked to leave or change your workout gear (even if clean when beginning) if you “sweat too much while working out” or “make too much noise while exercising.” These are 2 actual quotes. When asking the person giving the tour, I threw some boldness her way and asked if that was all true. She danced around the question, which by the way was never answered.

Say the heck? Do what? Are you kidding me? I was laughing inside at her “cheerleader” guide to physical fitness. The batting of the eyelashes. Flirtatious. Woah! Is this really happening? How cute. And her face full of cosmetic overload and an extra tiny outfit. Right, this is not believable. People who are trying to make their bodies look better do not really want to see a reflection of a Barbie doll bouncing about. Maybe some perverts but not most of America. By the way, there was no place for children to play. No where for them to go. Frankly, you would not want them there anyway.

We then visited the showers. They have many rooms but not one for a male and one for a female. They are all the same, unisex. If someone walks in on you of the opposite sex, it is your fault because you did not lock the door. One look at the tiny shower floor told me everything. Gross! There was a chunk of blood in the bottom of the stall. Oh no way! Gag! Nice cleaning!

It gets better, you are forced into signing a years contract. If you find the place tasteless they will sue you for leaving. If they find you irritating in some way, like sweating, they will tear up your contract and sue you for the remainder of what remains of your 12 month membership. If you find this place is not to your standards it is considered resigning and never going back or using any of their services unless you pay up immediately for how many months you have left, they will take you to court, without your permission. You must agree to all of this by signing your name.

There is much small print on their “contract” such as what they consider “selling points” saying they are gearing themselves to all ages yet the video we were shown were very young people, perfectly physically fit, and most did not look old enough to buy a mixed drink. In other words they looked, for the most part, under the age of twenty one. Then came the most hilarious part. They are marketing sugared (basically a bottled, over priced, powdered fruit flavored) drink mixed with water, that you can only purchase there. You could tell right away how much she was encouraging people to buy their merchandise. This of course included their own work out t-shirts, shorts, etc… She said not to take it personally if we were snubbed because wearing their gear shows you “belong” there. Her actual wordings. Wait, the way to enter the building, does that not prove you are a member? I guess not. Though in the beginning of this encounter she said it was.

Then she let out a secret, a final way to “lure” people in. Sorry, Tootz – it did not work. My response was not what she was hoping for. This is a gym, a place they want you to succeed at your level of perfection. Then tell me why they host an “all you can eat” monthly pizza party, ordered from a local, high carb, high fat joint? Not Healthy! At last I could hold my laughter in no longer. I fell apart!

We let her know this was not what we were looking for and excused ourselves to the front door. Exiting, I took notice of several dishes full of candy, again made with sugar. I asked! Was this a “Halloween thing or an every day bowl of sugared poison?” She enthusiastically pointed out that they were free and yes all made with sugar! I never inquired if they were free, but if this was something set out on an every day basis, this is not geared towards health. Yes, I conclude, I began laughing again and we left.

Where am I going with this? Get your own gym. Buy a piece at a time. Do you really want to share everything with others including their germs? You are also more inclined to work out and stay with it if in your own home. And never, ever, join a gym without giving it a very good look over and that includes their contracts and rules.

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(Featured Icon Model on front Page: Vanessa – 2015-2016 Charming Belles – National Elite Queen)

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