Writings of Sheri Hooper

Sheri Hooper – "Momma Belle" – A-List Celebrities – American Families – Beauty Pageants – Cancer Slayers – Cannabis – Legalization – Decriminalization – Child Abuse Survivors – Christianity – Epilepsy – Fashion – Homeschooling – Ketogenic Lifestyle – Models – Politics – Photography – Photo Contests – Signs of The Times – Talent Events – The Scepter Awards

Food Police


I have been warned for decades about people that like to prey and judge on your shopping cart items. It happened recently and was quite alarming though I think I handled the situation well. She would have been punched in the face by me had this been the playground and somewhere in the seventies or eighties. Too old for that now, though she was deserving. I took care of this nosey bitch with style and little bit of comedy.

Ya’ll had to be there and I will do my best in re-telling the tale. I have been grocery shopping with my husband and/or alone for well over 33 years. We are in our early fifties. Sometimes we use a personal shopper, sometimes we pick up and sometimes we go in. It just depends upon our mood and what we have planned. Our lives are far too busy to do it any other way. It finally happened. Cart Shamed? Seems so. You decide. It goes a little something like this…

Rick and I were out at a local health food store with quite a full cart. We were checking out when the drama began. Remember, I did not start this – I ended it – that’s my way children. Ya’ll know me now right? I have told you about Peoria, Illinois. You either stand up or fall down. I do not fall down bitches. I don’t start the fight either, I am actually a very kind individual. She should have kept her mouth shut and chose her battles. She went up against Sheri Hooper and all the “Momma Belle” in me slapped her back down to earth. She had it coming. Ya’ll would have been proud.

(giggling)

We were simply piling up our Ketogenic and Organic products onto the belt. I suddenly heard an overly LOUD, irritating, female voice, approximately 55 years old, speaking into the air, “OH look like SOMEONE’s went KETO!” – understand – She said, “oh, someone and keto” with a smart assed emphasis on each word. It was staccato and she was looking right at us and our food. She went way over with her body allowing everyone in earshot to hear her as she gazed into our cart and items already placed. To alert the world what an idiot she is on the word Keto, she pronounced it, “Keyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyytoe.” She really dragged that sucker on.

I looked at her with my eyes locked and fired up with anger. “Bitch, you have done fucked up.” Was all I could think and, “I will leave here smiling and you won’t.” I waited for the deserved destruction of this prey who REALLY had an ass-whoopin’ headed her way. It was tough for me to hold my reserve until I was ready to pounce. It was practically effortless, literally “handed” to me. Keep reading.

(tee-hee)

The cashier chick was clearly embarrassed at what this woman said to me. She praised our success being Ketogenic and products purchasing. She was wonderful. Clearly, she was upset at the people behind us, the female of that duo I should say. After her first comment, I moved in with a loud, “yeah, and I have lost 138 pounds and fighting cancer without chemo or radiation and still alive and healthy, while at it!” I said this with much joy as my life gives me happiness. Any good person would STFU and congratulate me. She didn’t. While the cashier cheered me on the smart ass had more to say. That was not enough for her to shut her up. She was not finished. She wanted more from me. Okay wench, you’re gonna get it. You will regret this…

Off subject but people like this? Their lives must be an utter bore. Her husband, a big guy well over 300 lbs, looked like he wanted the earth to swallow him whole, but said nothing. He feared her. Poor guy. I could see that. She then shouted everything negative on being ketogenic. I wanted to yawn. Think of all the morons who bash being keto — because THEY failed at it. She wanted to insult nearly every product we were buying. Responding with weight loss, good health and cancer all fell onto her deaf-by-choice ears. This Food Police person is nothing more than a bully and she was about to be bitchslapped on attacking our lifestyle.

The dramatics were coming to a head as the cashier (GOD BLESS HER!) handed me a bag. I did not know it was not our bag. The Food Snobbery was still babbling on how Keto did not work for her and it was a waste of time, money and… and… and… I had to put an end to it. Too many others were watching.

We were checked out when this woman’s husband meekly said to me, “You have our bag.” Their cart still full and I was clueless. I looked down at the sack that the cashier had handed me – theirs – and until that moment, I had no idea it was theirs. I think the cashier may have been giving me an extra gift. Who knows, but funny.

I saw this as my opportunity. My final statement to the heifer who dared look upon my cart with judgment. Shame on her first of all. Stop looking in other people’s carts, what they buy. Are you with a marketing company or just a bored bitch looking for a fight? Us KETO people will open up a can if we are forced into it. Fair warning to the Debbie Downers out there. It is none of your business what others buy. Resist the urge to look.

I looked at the bag in my hands, I opened it, looked inside seeing scads of pounds of nuts. I did notice it was quite heavy. I said, with volume in my voice as I peeked inside, “This better not be candy!” Everyone looked at me and a few grinned. The cashier was practically laughing. The couple? They were now silent. The woman finally got the message. Sorry that her old man had to go down with her but he was a victim of circumstance. I walked out practically skipping.

Food Snobbery is not something new but it has NEVER been like this. I remember a Vegetarian Health Food store of long ago in Nashville with people giving unkind looks to those who were not Vegan or whatever their food vs your food was. I expect people who care about nutrition to be mindful of their looks at others. Don’t Judge and you yourself won’t be judged or humiliated in front of others about his possible bag of “candy” though it was actually nuts. I’d be a liar if I said that wasn’t a little fun. Again, I did not start this!

I have said this before but will whirl it by you all once again. STOP looking in other carts and making comments. Either positive or negative, you notice nothing, you see nothing. DON’T be PETTY!

– Q. – “Why did the chicken cross the road?” – A. – NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS!


HAPPY NEW YEAR! – Trendy, HOT, Clothing Items Collection, Sale!

Leave a Reply